Real or Not Real?

I have this thought struck my mind this afternoon, when I was refilling water.

Nigel seems so unreal to me.

I mean, is he the imaginary bf that I created wtf?

I don't know.

It just hit me like that.

LOL.

Revision doesn't go as smooth.

Oh well, procrastination is acting up.

When pepper and salt shaker mixed together.

How can both things mix together as one?

They are meant to be put separately.

Maybe... Maybe a divider should be place between pepper and salt.

So, customers who hates the taste of pepper won't mistake pepper as salt and customers who hates the taste of salt won't mistake salt as pepper.

Shop manager is being too insensitive.

She expects the customers to differentiate pepper and salt through the tiny holes.

3 holes is for salt, 5 holes is for pepper.

Little did she knows, not many customers how to differentiate.

When pepper and salt is being mixed up, the dishes will turn out different taste, then customers will not like the taste.

Shop manager will be blame for not labeling the pepper and salt shaker.

Chef's effort in the dishes gone wasted.

The dishes was good.

It has its own unique taste, a hint of love in it.

Most importantly, the effort that the chef put in it.

It just that, the pepper and salt shaker placement that ruin the taste.

That caused the chef in thinking that dishes is not good.

That caused the chef loses the confident.

All chefs have their own way and skills to make the dishes taste good.

And so do you.

I can't do much because I is the stupidest and laziest person in this whole entire world.

No la, I'm not.
Because if I am, the other stupid and especially lazy people already long gone in this fast pace city.
You get what I mean?

I love it when my work that I put effort in turn out to be a GOOD piece of art.
I hate it when my work that I put effort in turn out to be a LOUSY piece of art.

A perfectionist will never think that his/her work is good enough.
They will always pick at the fine details and try to improve their work to as flawless as they could.
A perfectionist will never leave their work just cause of some lame excuses.
'I'm feeling very tired already', 'I think it's good enough already', 'I think no need to do until so perfect wan', 'Nevermind la, ask others to do for me',etc and call it a day.

A perfectionist is like the bf.
The way he's being so picky with his editing, his screenplay, his production and in all his works is one of the reasons I admire him and that one thing is what I should learn from him.

Yo boy!
I really really love the master-piece from your side.

It's a matter of time.

I always think that...
Internship is the ruler to measure if one is suitable to be in the Broadcasting field.
Now, with the confirmation from the senior, I really want to know how certain people are going to pull through the process.

Self-centered with conservative mind set can never go far in this field.
All the best.

Dream and Reality.

Been hearing bout the news of the Somali Pirates.

I wonder...
How do those pirates look like?

Are they like Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean?

Or some gentleman in formal suit?

What are the reason behind them being the pirates?
How nice if I can shoot a documentary about pirates.
The life of pirates.
Sounds interesting eh?
LOL.

Impressed by my patience. Alice, where are you?

To go back to the lovely hometown, where my dear grandparents are.

To be their company.
To escape from this ugly city.

Am sick. Really sick.

First Time Ever.

Was watching the Formula 1 Malaysia yesterevening.
Seriously, fail kau-kau.
=__________=
First time in the record the drivers never complete their race.
Look at the rain, dam heavy like don't know what.
Kesian all those 'ang mohs' become wet wet under the rain.
Me watching from home keep having broadcast interruption, whereas the drivers all race with instructions from the main control centre.
Wtf no wonder so many of them lose control halfway or bang their cars.

********
I'm feeling so lazy and so not motivated and emo and blablabla.
Lacking of inspiration.
Lacking of self discipline.
Failsssss~~~~

Qing Ming Day

Yesterday was the first time in my whole entire 21 years going for 'Qing Ming'.
*big wet eyes*

I've always wanted to go for 'Qing Ming', but the adults always don't let us the kids go when we were way younger.
As the eldest in the family, I really think I should keep this custom.
Wahhh... sounds so the old.

Woke up at 5 ish to go back hometown, reached there at 8 ish.
Bumped into a childhood bestie when I reached the graveyard.
Actually nothing much I can do there, but I did help to repaint the words and clean the area abit. (I don't know what you call that la)

'Met' the great grandpa, great grandma and granduncle for the first time.
Found out that the grandpa lose his parents since he was 3 year-old and couldn't find where his parents were buried till now. ><

Cockroach carried by a lot of red ants. *geli*

Taken from great grandpa's.

I don't know about the rest.
But I know more about my own family history through this 'Qing Ming'.
Everyone should go for 'Qing Ming'!

Okaythankiubyebye!

-致敬-

风凉习习地吹，
花一朵朵地掉，
叶一片片地落，
夕阳远远地看着，
这一幕。

泪一滴滴地流，
雨也渐渐地大，
人一堆堆地集，
在你悄悄离开的，
那一刻。

哭声此起彼落，
感叹越来越多，
思念愈来愈深，
在你离开我们的，
那瞬间。

歌一首首地播，
戏一部部地放，
关于你的一切，
在你留给我们的，
回忆中。

-爱丽诗之作-

不是真正的。

真的很想狠狠的大发脾气一次。
请容许我这么任性，就这么一次。
一大清早就被作弄。
牺牲睡眠到了学校却被告知可取消。
算了，干脆再步行到PC。
提着那重重的手提电脑和包包，一个人走着走着。

到了PC，一个人在editing room呆了2个小时多。
冷得一直在抖。
情绪已经跌到最低点。
过后，再被告知我被耍。
火气简直飚到最高点。
要是让我知道哪个王八蛋白痴智障拿这种玩笑来开，我真的会过去踹他一脚。
根本是玩到没有东西玩。
不要上课，请靠边站。
我的家没有很靠近，没办法和你癫。

1年1个月在不愉快的情况下，过了将近3/4天。
是我时间分配的不好。
答应了一起吃午餐，结果却让他吃白果。
我也很饿，也很难过、不开心。
但是，我都只有把情绪收起来，因为根本没暇时理会。
一个人在将近5点吃着街头汉堡，唇内侧的水泡痛的哇哇叫。
我并不可怜，但我真的很不开心。

我真的很讨厌没把自己本分做好的人。
为什么总是认为别人会帮你完成你的本分而不加以努力？
为什么总是找借口推卸责任？
为什么总是浪费时间做些有的没的？
我也很累，很彷徨,很无助。
所需顾虑的，扛的责任不比任何一个人来得少。
可以不要一句‘对不起，我不会，我不知道’，就把责任推个一干二净吗？

是我沉静得太久了吗？
大家是否都不再察觉我的存在？
我是不是渐渐的迷失方向？

如果哭能解决问题，我也很想试一试。

The Biggest Joke Ever.

It is not when you reach uni early in the morning just to find out that the class is cancelled on the AprilFool.
It is not when you're rushing some important task alone knowing the rest are sleeping on their bed in the wee hour.
It is not when you're left alone here when the rest have already move on.
It is not...

6 years ago.
That very night when I overheard the news about about not being able to see him anymore, I thought he was going to retired or step down from the entertainment field.
Turn out he really jump down from that hotel to end his life.

I'm not really a crazy fan of his.
But, he is one of the singers who I listen to and the actor who I admired.
It is when I listen back to those old songs and watch back those movies he acted, only that I found out that he was part of my childhood.

Human is a very weird being.
They don't usually know how to appreciate, they take things for granted.
It is when they lose the person/thing forever, only that they will regret and hope for another chance just for that person/thing to return to them.
I was one of those in this case.

AprilFool is totally a different day for me.
Its no longer about how you fool people around.
Its more to listening to his songs and think of all those little little pieces of childhood memories for me.

Below are few clips which are my favourites.

Happy Leslie Day!

Pentagon.

It has always been my dream to write the story about the pentagon.
And for this time, I'm getting the chance.

Pentagon.
Part of my life. The journey. Footprints left by them.
Eventhough the shores washed off the footprints, the impacts are still there.
Questions are left unanswered.

Drama? Romance?
What's hiding under the mask?

Earth. Earth. Earth. Earth. Earth Hour.

I got to sleep for like freaking 12.5 hours!
Lol.

So, it was Earth Hour yesternight.
My family was one of the very few houses around my area that joined.
How sad.
Houses that hardly on any light suddenly become so semangat and switch on their lights instead of switching them off.
=______________="'

Daddychua gave me the honor to switch off the lights at home when its 8.30pm haha.
That 1 hour of darkness.
I wanted to go outside for star seeing.
But, when I look up the sky.
It was disappointing.
Cause the sky was orange-ish color like those you get when the sun rise. -.-
Why la you tell me why is the sky become this kinda color?
T______T

After that 1 hour, I become damn sleepy and went to sleep at 1030 wtf.

The End.

Speechless...

It's always better to depends on ownself than others.
I've got nothing to lose.

Tonight will be another sleepless night.
Another burn oil session.
Another headache time.

Due date is tomorrow.
Research is not done.
Report is not finalize yet.

Midterm is tomorrow, too.
Don't even have time to look at it, yet.

Can someone give me superpower?

Childhood favourites.

Super alot of Youtube clips ahead!

Its all songs that are more than 10 years ago.
Omg so old yet I grow up listening to all these songs.




Aaron Kwok hahah.
His hairstyle and that dance.
This song was the most popular when I was in Standard 2.



This song this song.
I learnt from the big sis next door back in hometown when her class was performing in graduation.



Omg omg.
Grasshopper is one of the best during that time.



The cute cute Jimmy Lim.
Super crazy with him last time.



My super idol when I was in kindi.
This is one of my favourites!
Romantic romantic classic love song.
*melts*



This one I don't know why I know the lyrics.
Another classic love song.



Andy Lau!
I know this song from a movie of his.
But I'm not sure what's the title of the movie.
Bwek.



I love love this song also wei.
So nice.



Super good band.
Talented lead singer.
But he fell from a 3m stage during a game show recording in Japan and died wtf.
So sad.



My neighbour who sent me to school play this song every morning.
Those were the days man.



Another song from Beyond.
Influence from my aunt that I love their songs.



Yea. Leon Lai again.
A sound track from a TVB drama he acted.



Lol and again.
Told ya Leon Lai was my super idol.
Hahaha.

Those were the days when I was young.
Now that I listen back to these songs, they give a whole different meaning.
With a hint of nostalgic feeling.

Another one.

The bf just edit it to landscape.
Which one nicer?
Lol.

Feelings.

Me - 'Random is nice.'
Bf - 'Ah, gf menggoda aku.'
Sam - 'Hot!'
Susan - 'Your pics scare me'
PeiZhi - 'Relax. Natural. Comfortable.'

Tell me what you think about ma pics.
Heh.

Skeleton.

Maybe I'm too skinny.
The grandma gave me RM20 but RM10 to the sibs.
Hohoho.
Extra RM10 does make a lot of difference.
Cause I is very poor now.

*********
Went to Citrus Park and had lunch with the bf.
Leo's Tom Yam Fried Rice.
The fried rice itself was not bad, but I don't know what's wrong with me.
I was very semangat in finishing it in the beginning, however halfway eating I lose all my appetite and had to force myself to finish it.
I was like a small kid who munches her food in the mouth for a very long time and refuse to eat properly.
I kept talking to the bf with my mouth full lol.
By the time he was done with his fish and chips, I was still halfway through my fried rice.
He started like 10-15 minutes later than me.
=__________=

Speaking of which, I was Ah Ma's nightmare when comes to food.
Cause I didn't like vege, I tend to eat very slow and munch my food for very long time.
So she always have to get me Appeton Multivitamins Lysine Syrup.
I love the vitamin taste of the syrup thou. Hehe.


Now that I'm almost 21, I actually still face this kinda appetite problem.
Once a while, when the stress attack.
But, I guess everything will be different now.
I just have to get used to it.
Wuwu.
I don't want to grow up can ah?

Monologue from the scene.

I didn't mean that.
Sorry baby.
I just couldn't tell myself to calm down when I see that.
Please forgive whatever that I've done.
Please forgive me.
You know I didn't mean that right?

Sleep tight baby.
You must be tired.
I.Love.You.
I will never leave you alone.
Just wait for you.
I'm coming.
Very very soon.

-Am listening to the theme song-

Everything is out of stock.
I need more and more cash.

Pain pain. ><

Fighting with period cramp is like fighting with a BIG BIG monster.
Its so tiring.
That I napped for almost 3 hours after reach home from uni.

Maybe it was due to the stress recently.
The cramp is back today.
The super-duper-power-pain that make me feel like cutting my own abdomen.

Whenever the pain happen in uni, I'll rest my head on the bf's laps with 2 more chairs supporting my body and legs.
While the rest will get me hot water this that.
Its damn ugly to lie like that in the public, some more this time in in front of cafeteria entrance.
=_________=
Habis musnah image saya.
Oh well, not like I have good image but still...
*uhuk uhuk*

泪。累

怎么了？
为什么会这样？
好久都没为这种琐碎事流泪。
是压抑太久？
是太在乎别人？
是太不了解？
是荷尔蒙失调？
是情绪不稳定？
是讨厌被遗忘？
是讨厌被忽视？

泪水像长命雨，
一直流着，
好久好久，
在这静静长夜，
心里的天枰失去平衡点，
坏情绪持续增加，
好情绪持续减低，
失望到谷底，
像掉进漩涡，
彻底绝望。

能说得就只有这样吗？
没别的？
我想是吧！

真的很难过。
难道就不能说个谎来安抚我吗？
真的是我太过分了吗？
为什么都没想过我在想些什么？

It's not important bout what I think after all.
I'm like the air.
Negligible.

Speechless.

Nobody understand how pain it was.
My 1.5 month old new Myvi doesn't look new at all.
New scratches are everywhere.
Inside out. Deep and light.
I tried hard to avoid all these scratches.
No point.
I've forgotten about the passengers.
People won't feel how it feels when the car is not theirs.

All I asked was just a car wash and vacuum.
Merely RM10.
I din even ask for polishing, which I will come out with my own money.

Maybe I sound as though I'm showing off my new car.
But, I just want to let everyone knows that.
It's my responsibility to keep my car clean and new.
Also.
It's ALL OF YOU PASSENGERS' RESPONSIBILITY to make sure you take good care of other's car whenever you sit in it.
Watch out when you're carrying bag with a lot of chains and also when you open the door please.
Don't ever give me that oh-its-not-my-car-so-who-cares attitude.
I really have the right to ask you all to get out of my car.
It's all depends on me.
It doesn't mean that you can cross my line when I'm being nice and patient.

I maybe small and looks weak, but I'm a human.
I have my border line too.
DON'T EVER TRY ME!

Tasteless.

I almost burst out laughing when I saw that monkey face.
Especially when that person is so damn proud with that.
I thought I just saw one 'ah gua'. O.o
Damn scary wei.
Some more its right after I watch some horror movie.

Just make sure that you seek for the professional if you know nuts bout what you're doing.
Super bad taste like don't know what.
HAHAHAHAHA.

*********
Anyway, shooting is over.
Will post pics once I get it from Emily and KJ.

Til then.
Let me laugh for the one last time before I click PUBLISH POST.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.

12/03/09

Second day of shooting.

It started raining when we were coming out from the house.

The director went to asked for permission of church in Jalan Gasing but fail.

When time like this, I can be creative once a while lol.

Thought of an alternative.

Went to get transparent umbrella instead.

Reached bridal house.

The in-charge person was kind enough to let our 'bride and bridegroom' to enter inside.

After fixed all the make up and gown, the rain stopped.

Started shooting.

It started drizzle towards the end.

And I didn't know my camera was that good.

Heh.

Aza-aza fighting!

Will be away for over-night'ing session til Sunday.

Goodie luck!

=)

11/03/09

First day of shooting.

It's been drizzling.

So far we are on schedule, but the darn mic is delaying our time.

Ish ish ish.

Hopefully the shooting for the coming days will be fine.

It's tiring but we are having lotsa fun!

Flower Wheee~~~

Wuwu.
This semester is super duper busy.
Midterms coming. Short film shooting starting tomorrow. Assignments deadline all nearing.
How la how la how la.
Wtf so paranoid like don't know what.

Anyway, the bf got his first choice for interns too.
Can throw way the so call action betul punya previous first choice dy.
Til now also no reply.

Hohoho.
Congrates to the rest who got their offer letter for internship too!
So hyper today.
But wait, you wait, tomorrow I'll be layu kaukau.
=____________=

Midterm is tomorrow!
How to speed reading when I'm so not focus on my notes.

Kthxbye.

My mind is all jumble up.

I feel like a puppet.

I feel like a clay.

I feel like a mold.

I feel like a tv.

Controllers please stay away from me!

Question Mark.

Sometimes, I really think I should be more selfish and just keep my mouth shut.

An invisible form of stress is forming.

Sigh.

For better, for worse?

Inside.

Damn pissed like don't know what.
Damn stress like don't know what.
Damn emo like don't know what.
Damn hungry like don't know what.

Damn those negative feeling!

I seriously am lacking of what you call the creative mind to add in interesting elements in the dry, dull script.
*bites fingers*

The Failed Surprise.

So, it's the bf's 21st today.
The surprise gathering failed kaukau.
Unfamiliar of the venue + Miscommunication with the rest = Fail the plan.
=_________=
Super emo like don't know what.
Haih.
Some more the rest suggested me to take course on 'How to Surprise Nigel Pinto'.
Wtf.
That's it. Next time don't want give you surprise dy, Nigel Pinto.

Anyway, am really glad that you like the watch cause I scanned through the whole place like kaukau.
Once settle choosing the design, scan for scratches la, compare and compare only puas.
Then, choose box lagi.
At least its worth getting shoot by Jazs and Xiaochin. =S

I shall start my work like now.
Kthxbye.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN TO THE DOINK DOINK BF!
=)

Good News!

Wheeee~~~~
I GOT IT!
The offer letter!
Will be starting internship earlier than the exact date.
Can't wait!!

I don't like Multimedia Broadcasting.
Wuwu.
T_________T

Paranoid.

I'm in love with their songs and films masterpiece.
They are so damn talented!
The Talented Sibs.
Wuwu.
How come I'm not even half of them in any way?
==

The internship interview is tomorrow.
I is so gan cheong yet I'm not doing anything yet.
However, I think I should go read up a bit on the company soon.
I'm not sure where is the production house located.
Hmmmm...

What should I wear tomorrow?
What kinda questions am I expecting?

Lalalala.
I just want to get in to DT now desperately.

Contrast.

I am a super manja girl at times.
But I'm so damn busy nowadays til I got no time to manja.
><

So, when his message arrived just now, my manja semangat come and straight away update him about the internship.
He hardly text just to say hi and ask about updates.
I feel so warm.

*************************************************

Am fucking pissed now.
I don't understand why some people take responsibility when they don't even bother about it.
Please check what you need to do if you take charge of anything and make sure you do whatever you need to do.
Don't just throw it to the others and concern nothing about it.
There's a limit to everything.
One thing I'm sure now, that is beyond my limitation.

The Love Story Of The Passerby.

It was the morning of the first day of Uni, she was heading to the block A, he was heading to the block C.
They walked past each other at the walkway.
She thought he's the rare Malay in the uni.
He remembered her as the few passerby in that morning.

Then, they bumped into each other again outside the office.
She was sitting alone along the corridor while he was there with a bunch of girls chit chatting.
She looked at him and continue stoning.
He approached her to asked for direction, she replied him and he thanked her and continue talking with those girls.

After a week, she can almost recognize most of her coursemates' name.
It was until when the lecturer called his name in the class that she realized he is in the same course with him and that he is not a Malay but a Chintuguese. (wtf)
Then, they happened to be in the same class for English.
As a friendly girl she is, she greet him whenever she sees him.
It was until once that he didn't even look at her when she greeted him that, she decided not to look or greet him anymore.

The first semester ended and the 3 months long break arrived.

She found his blog once when she was reading a coursemate's blog.
She then started reading his blog anonymously and secretly attracted by his writing.
His blog is her main entertainment source during that break.
She even go to his old blog to read on old entries.
He found out that she read her blog and left a message in her blog.
They started leaving messages in each other's chatbox then.

One fine day, he post about an International event job vacancy in Terengganu.
She being the workaholic asked him to register her.
They went for meetings together but they still don't talk much when they see each other face to face during meetings.
She was afraid to talk to him, while he didn't know what to talk with her.

They worked in Terengganu together.
Sometimes, when they are free, they will chit chat with the rest of the colleagues.
Once, the supervisor asked her what she's doing?
She said 'Broadcasting course same as him but never talk to each other in the class"
Supervisor 'Don't worry. Both of you will be best friends after this event.'
She laughed at her supervisor's statement.
At the end of the event, she exchanged emails with everyone including him.

After she's back from the event, she start adding those emails.
She knows he online everyday from his blog, but she has never seen him in MSN before.
After a quick chat with him, and a quick check in his contact list, only she realize she type 'chintuguese' as 'chintugese'.
=___________=

Anyway, they started chatted in MSN every night after that.
Soon, she finds that she always look forward for the time he comes online.
As for him, he started to talk about her in front of his friends.
His friends will always look at her in the uni, she always feel weird about it cause she don't think they know her.

At one time, she was struck with a wave of bad luck.
He was there to cheer her up and she feel super touched.
He even came out with a Smiling Project where if she smile back before a deadline, he will get her a Mc'Donalds' Oreo Mcflurry and reminds her of the sacred holly mantra whenever she's emo.
On the day where the Smiling Project ended, he walked Mc'Donalds that located 1km away from the Uni.
He then took cab back cause he knows she doesn't like melted ice cream.
She was so touched and almost hug him when she knows about it.

Her heart beats super duper fast whenever he came to talk to her.
There was once, she was reading his blog in the Uni computer lab.
He came in, she was so nervous.
At the end, she left her thumbdrive in the Uni computer lab cause too happy talking to him.
=__________="

They started texting each other during the CNY 08.

During a conversation in MSN, he granted her a wish.
She wished for a bf who is loves her, caring, patient with her when she pms and etc (Dam hiao, purposely test him like that.)
After playing with her for a while, he announced himself as the only candidate available.
And so, after the long round and round, they get together.

Now, it's been a year since they get together.

**********
I have always wanted a meaty bf.
I have always wanted a romantic bf.
I have always wanted a small eyes bf.
I have always wanted a (too lazy to write)
Anyway, I got the total opposite of what I always wanted.
Lol how funny it can be at times.

Despite busy with the proposal, I still squeeze some time to write this.
And I wrote this story starting from the ending to the beginning.
Ignore tons of grammar mistakes cause I'm super busy to check through.

Happy 1 year dear!
Happy doing proposal at home!
And please continue to blog!
Teeheee =D
ME WURVE YOU!

P/S 1: See i so nice write nice nice post, not like you. =p
P/S 2: Its 10.16pm by the time I post this.

Half dead.

I am now nyawa-nyawa ikan already.
Finally done editing the short film script after god knows how many hours since yesternight.
Head is pounding like those DJ remix songs Lol.
*pung pung pung*

I'm worried about the coming week now.
Please make it easy for me.
><

Dilemma.

Am stuck in between.
I'm a fatty.
Wuwu.
T_________T

Check Check Check!

Been really really busy with the internship application and let's just cross fingers and hope that those companies reply me as soon as possible please...
I seriously think UTAR give us like so little time to apply ownself lo.
Cannot understand why they only brief us after uni started for so long.

I'm in the status of being emo and paranoid and worry like don't know what.
I still haven't receive any call yet. Or email.
Padahal I just sent my letters out yesterday and today.
Company sekalian please check your mailbox or email please and read through my cover letter and resume.
I really desperate now.
I don't want UTAR to arrange my internship for you cause they simply throw us to some random place which will not be our choice. Hmph!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE

CHUA DADDY!

I've been so busy lately that I didn't keep track with the date and totally forgotten about Chua Daddy's birthday and at the end Chua Mommy have to remind me about that.
Pai Seh. *shy*

And this is the overdue post.
==

声音

轰隆轰隆，
天空灰灰的，
是老天心情不好，
想哭了吗？

叮叮叮叮，
音乐朗朗的，
与心情形成对比，、
我还好吗？

比例巴拉，
电视吵吵的，
上演政治课题篇，
不烦的吗？

呼呼呼呼，
我要呼呼啦，
超爱看不良校花，
不可爱吗？

无法继续自言自语，就这样草率了结。

Shut up!

Human is a very fatty creature.
Especially after you make their life easier and they know they can make use of you.
They never stop demanding.
After you grant them with the tools, they demand for the instruction.
After you told them what to do, they demand you to do it for them.
After you do it for them, they demand you to decorate it nicely.
Its like a never ending cycle.
Sigh.

**********
I've always wonder how I sound like if I were to lost my voice.
Today, I'm losing my voice for the first time in my whole entire life.
I don't even sound sexy.
Whoever who is say my voice was sexy must be making fun of me.
=__________=

Of course, I'm the fatty when comes to food.
Chili? Yes yes yes! Give me more please!
Fried chicken. Smell so nice. *slurp*
Pisang goreng. Omg, so long never eat! *bite*
Keropok lekor. *nyam nyam*

No wonder I sound like a duckie
*quack quack quack*

Initial.

I don't know why.
Despite many telling me not to be so nervous over this industrial training thingy, I still feel nervous and worried.

Maybe I'm just being the super stress-self.
Maybe its the kiasu-ness deep down in me.
Maybe I'm over-worried about the final report which is going to pull up my pathetic CGPA.
I don't know.
I just feel nervous.

I have a few companies in mind, but I'm not sure whether those companies are really good for internships?
Many want to go to the same company which I think for once I don't feel like it.
Am in the dilemma.
I so so want to go for internship in radio station but One FM is way too a piece of hot cake.
Shall I try my luck?
Shall I give up on my initial dream?
Or production house is where I belong to?
How about TV station?

Questions, questions and more questions...
Research, research and more research...
Thinking, thinking and more thinking...
Confidence is what I need.

Karma.

When it is not happening to you right now, it doesn't mean that it will never happen to you.
Be Kind.

This is what I learn from the past 1 year and I finally figure it out.

Know nothing.

Period + Diarrhea = Lembik me. -^-

Tomorrow is the presentation, and I'm still not done with anything.
How the hell the tutor expect us to present and come out with the assignment when she only attend the class for only once?
Damn brainless and making our life miserable.
I'm feeling extremely nervous because I don't know what will the Q & A session like.
There's nothing much info in the books I borrowed from the library.
Still couldn't get any online journal.

The tummy is aching, the head is pounding.
Just let me fall sick kaukau so I won't have to go uni.
=________=

Listening to I'm yours.

明明就很在意，却装得一脸不在乎。
明明就很难过，却强忍不让眼泪流。

彻彻底底的崩溃。。。

Of all days, I broke down at this very day.
I was being very unreasonable in a way that I annoyed myself too.
I think I've misplaced the key of communication.
I kicked the door constantly trying to open and I failed.
I'm standing outside the door helplessly.
Trying hard to recall.

*knock knock knock*
Anybody there?
Can you please open the door and let me in?

What is Vday?

Its just another busy day.
Busy not as in dating but doing research for stupid CRM.
RAWR!

Anyway Vday never is my favourite day. Lol.
What more when my bf is not those romantic guy who give flowers and bring gf go for candlelight dinner.
Not like I like flowers cause seriously I think it's a waste of money.
I rather he spend me on other stuff then.
But then damn sad right satu kuntum pun tak dapat. ><
Wuwu.

Okay I was just joking, I'm not that interested in flowers, really wan.
I'm more interested in chocolates, but I have quite a lot at home and now that I'm having ulcers so I guess the bf can really save a lot.
He only spent on Benjamin Button today.
Ok wert.

Vday really make people goes siao siao.

Ulcers

There were few who came to ask if I'm feeling okay cause I don't look fine.
So I told them, I'm not emo but I'm not okay.
Cause I have huge ulcers which trying to show its head out soon on my lower lip.

I couldn't remember having such huge and deep wound ulcer for the past 20 years plus.
I have 3 ulcers but 2 of them decided to joined together and formed a long and huge one.
What make the pain worse is, everytime I move my mouth, I'll feel like damn super pain and give up on talking/laughing.
So sad okay I can't even close my mouth/eat/talk/laugh properly.
That's why I look emo I guess.
And I drool like don't know what when I sleep on my right.
Hahaha.

What make the ulcers worse was we have production in Kayu.
So of course have to order all those mamak food.
Being me, the chili fan, I ordered curry all and at the end complain about my ulcers lol.
Sigh.
Cari pasal betul I know.
Many suggested watermelon powder and salt.
I think I'll take the powder.
Salt no way!
The wound is too deep and I'll cry if I were to rub salt on it.
T______________T

Pain pain pain pain pain.

Live Life To The Fullest.

It was what that person told me.

I'm never the one who good in soothing people.
And all I know was just crying and make that person feel worse.

First time I see worries in that person.
I'm worried but can do nothing to help.
Am just hoping to see that person soon.
And hearing good news from her.

************
My memory is getting bad.
I tend to forget stuff easily every now and then.
I remember reading an article saying radioactive released from PC or laptop will affect memory.
The longer hour one sitting in front of PC, the more radioactive the body take in.
I find it so true now as I basically sit in front of the laptop whenever I'm at home.

Am cutting down the time from today onwards.

This can't be happening!
Oh God, please tell me its just a nightmare that I'm having.
Please....
Sob Sob.

My Confession.

For those who know me pretty well, I think you people should now know the fact that I'm quite a stingy person and calculative person when it comes to certain stuff like food (yea, I know I'm very skinny but I don't know why I'm never that type that spend too much money on food. I usually just wait for people to belanja me lol.), clothes, groceries and some other stuff which I cannot remember now.

There's something that I wanted to confess since long ago, but I always ended up keep it with myself.
Well now I really think I couldn't stand it anymore.
Maybe I've keep it with myself too long and I think this is the time for me to tell everyone how I feel.

Honestly, I'm quite bother by the fact that I'm owning a car.
"Eh, Alice got car let's ask her to fetch us."
I'm sick of being a driver, what more a driver who drive her own car, and pump petrol, pay parking and tol all with her own money.
Okay, so being a driver a fact that I cannot avoid since I bloody own a car.
But, sometimes I really wish you people will at least offer me part of the petrol, parking or tol money when we are traveling or going around.

We all are students, not financially independent of course.
Owning a car doesn't mean that I'm any richer.
I didn't take PTPTN loan and am always facing financial problems myself.
It's really depressing when I'm here struggling and I obviously can't bring myself to announce to everyone 'Hey people, I'm seriously facing financial problems and if you really sit my car, you must pay me some money okay? If not, get out off my car!'
I'm not as calculative until that level la...
Near near or on the way still okay, but far far and out of the way, please...... *big wet eyes*

I think some of you may think that this Alice so calculative and stingy let's not friend her. ><
I honestly hope you people can be fair to me cause if I have a choice, I will not drive too.
Then, nobody will point at me when they need transport.
Maybe it was due to the car expenses sharing culture that I practice during Form 6 that I'm not used to paying all when I'm the driver.
I really hope you people will be understanding enough to understand my feeling now.
What will you do if you're in my shoes?

That's all for all my craps.
Thanks for reading!

-Signing off-

Drama.

After all the shouting and fixing and overlapping and misunderstanding, the short film group was finally set.
That was the outcome after one hour of discussion yesterday.
If only you consider that as a discussion.
I thought I was in a market.
=_________=

Today.
The tutor decided to surprise us or rather UTAR decided to surprise us.
The initial 8 groups is now shrink to 6 groups.
Which means from 14 people that we formed yesterday change to 18 or 19 people per group.
O.o

UTAR management seriously is good for nothing.
How can we lack of equipments when we are paying the bloody fees every single semester?
Can't UTAR fix the spoil one or get new equipment?
How can we learn when we are shooting a 15-30 minutes short film with so many people doing nothing?
We are some big production like Red Cliff for goodness sake.
Seriously damn potong.
Drama started even before we start shooting.
That just prove that UTAR=No choice.
Sigh.

Tomorrow's course meeting is going to be like World War 3.
Am feeling so dreaded to attend.
Another shouting and fixing and overlapping and misunderstanding moment. *Okay, scrab the misunderstanding*

Another drama happened today was when BC1 and BC2 combined class.
Sorry to say that, some LOA (lack of attention) person from BC2 decided to berdrama his class business in front of BC1.
The class started yesterday, can't you just berdrama in your class than involving other class for you class business?
I seriously don't get it man.
Don't this person feel malufying making big fuss out of his own resignation?
Such an irresponsible act.
Pfft!

___________________________

The flower shop just rejected us.
Wuwu.
T_________________T
Anyone know any flower shop owner?
Please recommend to me.
Pwetty Please~~~~
*Biggest wet eyes in the whole entire world*

Randomness.

1. I finally gamble for the first time in my life and won RM20 hohoho.

2. I dreamt about the dai lou trying to convince me that he had become short and fat, then he switch his identity with a guy called Jun Kei which I don't know who is that. Anyway, he tak jadi to tipu me also. Lol.

3. I got almost RM450 for ang pao money so far. Whee~~

4. There are a lot of things in my shopping list, but I'm trying to control my desire to get those stuff cause Ah Ma said must save up money.

5. I hope all my paycheques come as soon as possible.

6. I'm getting emotional these days.

7. I have loads of research to do but I'm feeling extremely lazy to get my butt started.

8. I stucked in my script writing. T___T

9. I super crazy fall in love wih Fany Hwan Hee. His voice is wonderful huhu.

10. I laughed like mad woman listening to the stories of bf and his high school friends.

So quiet.

This CNY was super duper quiet compared to the previous years.
The usual house visiting among primary school mates tergendala this year.
Everyone seems to not in the CNY mood.
The streets are not as busy as previous years.
I didn't eat any mandarin oranges in hometown, ate very little cookies, drank only 3 cans of 100 plus, and as usual no gambling for me cause I'm boring people like that.
=_____________=

I basically spent my time napping in grandma's house.
I sleep at 12 ish every night and wake up 9 ish every morning.
Then I napped at least once throughout the day.
Highest record was 3 time in a day and that was the second day of CNY omg.
I watched TV til fall asleep like how can I be so tired?
Not only that, on the first day of CNY when I was in the bestie's house, I almost fall asleep when waiting for parents to pick me up.
Its CNY and everyone looks so bored and dry at home lol.

Ohhh, so I was reading Aud's latest post.

Googled “sleeping disease” and this is what appeared:
Narcolepsy is a neurological condition most characterized by Excessive Daytime Sleepiness (EDS), in which a person experiences extreme tiredness, possibly culminating in falling asleep during the day at inappropriate times, such as at work or school.
gasp! that’s me!
People with narcolepsy may visibly fall asleep at unpredicted moments (such motions as head bobbing are common).
oh noes! all the time!
Narcolepsy has its typical onset in adolescence and young adulthood.
young adult! possible!
The most common symptom of narcolepsy is excessive daytime sleepiness, even if you slept well the previous night. A person suffering from narcolepsy may fall asleep at inopportune times, and naps are uncontrollable and can last anywhere from 1 minute to 30 minutes.

Copy paste from part of her post which I think it does sounds like what I was facing.
Oh my my, hopefully after uni start I'll be back to normal.
><

Anyway, Ah Ma told me something she told the uncle when he was about to start working.
Ah Ma repeated what she said to uncle.
'When you're coming out to work, buy a hen cause it will lay eggs. Keep the eggs up and eat only a little when you really want to eat them. Slowly, you'll have a lot of eggs.'

The message she was trying to tell was save as much as you can when you're young and not to spend all money on unnecessary stuff like those branded clothes.
There you go, my uncle is now a millionaire.
I must really start saving and that shall be my resolution 09.
Lol.

**********
On the second day of CNY, the aunt came back from Johor with her family.
The family that I miss dam kau kau cause I only get to see them one year once during the CNY.
Then, also this time, I'll be meeting the baby cousin for the first time.
So yea, excited like don't know what.

Chong Yvonne who got super super wild imagination
and far too mature thinking as a std 3 kid.
She cling on me just like how I cling on her mom last time.
The cousinnie-bonding.

Baby Joey, the new family member.
Chong mummy, who I threaten to buy Vitagen when I was 6
cause she had to go Malacca for college and
I diedie don't want to let her go.
Then, I asked her to get Vitagen the next time she come back from college.
Oww, how time flies.
I still remember I was waving to her when she was waiting for the bus.
And now, she's the mother of three.

Huhu. She's so cute.
When I want to take her pic, she straight away stare at the camera.
First time I get to carry baby for so long.
Til my arms muscle aching lol.
Its all worth it!

I personally think she looks like baby me when she stone. Lol.
Oh oh, and she looks like baby boy just like how I was. Teehee =)

The End.

'Moo Moo'

Hello Wello People Yo!
Happy 'Moo Moo' CNY!
Enjoy yourself during this festive season yah!

Alright, will be away til Thursday or Friday.
Til then.
Jia Neh!
=)

The pic.

A primary classmate suddenly post this pic up to facebook.
When we were standard 5.
Out of nowhere all the long lost contact classmates start adding each other in facebook.
Some even suggesting a gathering after years of not seeing each other.
Now the very headache part is the meet up date.
Everyone is everywhere.

I wonder how everyone looks like.
Year of not meeting up and we have all grown up.
How time really flies.

No holidays.

Chinese New Year is around the corner like less than a week time.bus
Everyone is the class is practically in the CNY mood.
A lot of the classmates had book tickets and transports to go back to the hometown to celebrate this festive season.
However, just when everyone is so in this mood, we receive a really bad news about our TV production assignments.

We were told that, we might have to start the production on TV filler next week.
Yea, next week! You got me right, the CNY week.
Now, with everyone in hometown, its not possible for us to meet up left alone start the production.

The reason why we have to start earlier was due to the insufficient equipments for all the students.
The tutor told us they will be students from other courses need those equipments.
=______________=
Stupid UTAR!
Cannot get more equipments is it?
Where are all those fees we paid?
Dah la the equipments are not as good, now not enough and want us to start production during CNY.
You think got anyone want to layan you or not?

None of us discuss anything about the production yet.
Proposal is not out yet and we haven't get any approval.
Besides the production, I still have to do research on Communication Research Method.
Presentation is 2 weeks after the CNY week.
Production will be around there too.
With all these coming along, I don't know how am I going to celebrate the CNY.

Oh God, please bring me good news tomorrow.
Hopefully we don't have to start production during CNY.
That will be so no life then.
SUCKS!

Goodbye, CLK.

As reluctant as I was, the day has finally come, where I have to send you away.
The traffic was heavy on the way to the destination.
For the first time, I wish, the jam will never end.
There were a lot of different pictures playing in my mind, each one carrying different memories that we've been through.

Everything started on 03/07/05, the first time I get permission to started hanging out with you.
I remember the brothers were laughing at me being the blur one when bringing you.
It took me a year to transform you from the unfamiliar slow kura-kura to the super heart attack roller coaster.
Twas a get-to-know-you-better year.

You were all fine throughout the first 2 years.
With your company, I went to form 6, Petaling Street, Zoo Negara, took the STPM, camwhore session and at last passed the 2 years trial.
It was until 8 months after the trial, I accidently hurt you.
From that day onwards, your body started to protest.
'Pimples and scars' started forming on your face due to the lack of treatment from the previous previous injury.
Despite feeling unwell, you still make it up for the biggest project.
At the end, you were down with fever and further to high fever which last for quite some time.
It was my fault for not taking good care of you.

It was hard for me as I have to be there to send you off.
I didn't want to cause I was so used to having you around and can easily drag you out with0ut worrying much.
Eventhough you look so much older after following me, I still appreciate everything that you contributed in my life.

You served me well.
All the best in your future and hope you'll get a better owner than me.

Ownership ends on 16/01/09.

The one and only picture I have.
I miss my CLK.
Sobsob.

More and more and more...

After a week of lateness, finally 'the auntie' decided to pay a visit.
I can now relax and not tension and worrying all day and night anymore.

Class started on Monday but nothing much cause everyone is still on holidays mood.
I'm still continue watching dramas and shows everyday.
Being the outdated me, I continue watching Prison Break Season 1 recently since my connection is fine nowadays and allow me to load the show.
Yea la yea la, I know now Season 4 is out already.
><

God knows what's wrong with me that I started reading manga in very slow pace after the bf send the link to me heh.
I shall finish reading 'Can You Keep A Secret' and get 'Twilight' from Xiao Chin.
Can't wait getting Forensic Heroes II from Jasmine too.
Oh my, why am I so outdated?

Just give me more time to spend on all these new hobbies wtf.

Silver? Uughhh!!!

I had this dream where a kid died falling in the drain when she was trying to jump across.
I was in the dream helping with the funeral, where all of the sudden I cried.
I woke up from the dream feeling so sad and I cried for awhile.
I don't know who was that little girl but I just can't help but sob for while before I fell asleep agian.

I checked the dream dictionary.
It stated:
To wake up crying, represents some suppressed hurt or previous trauma that is coming up to the surface. You can no longer suppress these emotions. They need to be dealt with head on.

Don't know how true is this?
But, I'm feeling kinda blue now.
And actually this is not the first time I dream about people dying.
Everytime, I'll wake by the dream and sob for while before falling asleep.

After I fell asleep, I dream about myself driving and lost in a jungle.
This is what I found:
According to some psychologists dreams about being lost frequently symbolises the beginning of a new phase of life and expresses the anxiety of leaving behind the familiar. Your dream may also express your worries about having no direction to your life. At times like this, it is wise to make a simple written list of the things that you want to achieve in life. Set yourself an attainable goal; set a deadline; and go for it!

This is kinda true, though, for both the answers.

Why do I always dream of all these?
=___________=

Waowwww...

It's been few days since I last update the blog.
Busy busy busy.
This is the busiest holiday I've ever have.
Been working and watching dramas non stop.
When I say non stop, I really mean its NON STOP!

Just finish my job this afternoon, hopefully everything goes well and I don't have to go back to fix the piece of laziness masterpiece report and cacat pics.
This job that I took was about merchandising, basically doing some maintenance job on Sandisk rack, check stock, talk to the person in charge in certain IT outlets around Digital Mall, Ikano, Cineleisure, Low Yat, Sg. Wang, and The Mines.
Call me Super Girl lol.
Been driving here and there this few days, carrying heavy stuff and deal with different people. (Thanks dear for the 2 days.)
And I'm telling you those eco bags that I have to carry weigh 253638473463 kg wtf.
First day I was being so stupid that I carry the whole bag and the person in charge didn't want all those brochures and I have to carry the super duper heavy bag back.
My hands were red and rashes attack!
Then, the following days I'm smart enough to divide the weight and bring lesser brochures wtf.
Overall, the job was kinda interesting minus meeting with sombong and rude person in charge which is 1/12 and the count stock part.
Lol.

I just realize my luck for job is so damn teruk. (Errr... Okay, this is according to the bf laa..)
You see...
When I'm broke and need a job desperately, there isn't any job available.
When I've got job on my hands, people all start calling and asking if I'm up to work.
Speaking of which, I just turned down 3 jobs in 2 days time.
Not cause I'm too busy, its just that, I've been working and didn't really rest properly during the holidays.
I so need my precious rest for the 2 days left before Uni starts on Monday.

******
I can't wait for my paycheque to come.
Money money come!
Yea, I'm that mata duitan wtf.
I love money!
Okay, and my family and friends and of course my bf lol.
Oh well, my heart is HUGE!

********
On another super random note, my class didn't get Alex Woon as tutor for Media Planning! O.o
This is so unfair!
The bf's class and BC3 get him.
Wuwu.
T___________T
My motivation for Media Planning gone. Completely GONE!

Should I go to bf's class and tumpang class?
Hmmmm.....

I'm feeling very very very the uncomfortable, emotionally I mean.
A little will pissed me off and make me yell like some mad woman.

**********
Results is out.
My results is as expected.
No A for Public Speaking.
I swear I missed the A just by a few marks.
Wuwu.
><

2009.

HAPPY 2009!

My connection is back to acceptable speed after several complaints I emailed to TMNET.
So happy now that I can load youtube fast, at least don't have to wait for an hour just to load a 10 minutes clip wtf.
Email is more effecient than calling them cause they will just ask you wait and wait and wait when you call.
Now, let's just hope the speed will maintain or increase to better speed.
If not, I shall complain again.
HMPH!

**********
The new semester is going to begin in 1 week time.
Gosh, seriously I already can feel the stress now.
There's even a night I couldn't sleep when I thought bout those pile of assignments that will be soon coming.
I'm getting paranoid with all these.
><
I so seriously have to work harder in this semester seeing that there are 6 units and are all brain cells consuming wtf.
I'm never a creative person.
God bless me please.
Let me be more creative from now on.

Hmmm..
I realize I haven make my Resolution 09.
Wth I don't know what I want also.
I shall start planning maybe.
hehe.