Half dead.

I am now nyawa-nyawa ikan already.
Finally done editing the short film script after god knows how many hours since yesternight.
Head is pounding like those DJ remix songs Lol.
*pung pung pung*

I'm worried about the coming week now.
Please make it easy for me.
><

Dilemma.

Am stuck in between.
I'm a fatty.
Wuwu.
T_________T

Check Check Check!

Been really really busy with the internship application and let's just cross fingers and hope that those companies reply me as soon as possible please...
I seriously think UTAR give us like so little time to apply ownself lo.
Cannot understand why they only brief us after uni started for so long.

I'm in the status of being emo and paranoid and worry like don't know what.
I still haven't receive any call yet. Or email.
Padahal I just sent my letters out yesterday and today.
Company sekalian please check your mailbox or email please and read through my cover letter and resume.
I really desperate now.
I don't want UTAR to arrange my internship for you cause they simply throw us to some random place which will not be our choice. Hmph!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE

CHUA DADDY!

I've been so busy lately that I didn't keep track with the date and totally forgotten about Chua Daddy's birthday and at the end Chua Mommy have to remind me about that.
Pai Seh. *shy*

And this is the overdue post.
==

声音

轰隆轰隆，
天空灰灰的，
是老天心情不好，
想哭了吗？

叮叮叮叮，
音乐朗朗的，
与心情形成对比，、
我还好吗？

比例巴拉，
电视吵吵的，
上演政治课题篇，
不烦的吗？

呼呼呼呼，
我要呼呼啦，
超爱看不良校花，
不可爱吗？

无法继续自言自语，就这样草率了结。

Shut up!

Human is a very fatty creature.
Especially after you make their life easier and they know they can make use of you.
They never stop demanding.
After you grant them with the tools, they demand for the instruction.
After you told them what to do, they demand you to do it for them.
After you do it for them, they demand you to decorate it nicely.
Its like a never ending cycle.
Sigh.

**********
I've always wonder how I sound like if I were to lost my voice.
Today, I'm losing my voice for the first time in my whole entire life.
I don't even sound sexy.
Whoever who is say my voice was sexy must be making fun of me.
=__________=

Of course, I'm the fatty when comes to food.
Chili? Yes yes yes! Give me more please!
Fried chicken. Smell so nice. *slurp*
Pisang goreng. Omg, so long never eat! *bite*
Keropok lekor. *nyam nyam*

No wonder I sound like a duckie
*quack quack quack*

Initial.

I don't know why.
Despite many telling me not to be so nervous over this industrial training thingy, I still feel nervous and worried.

Maybe I'm just being the super stress-self.
Maybe its the kiasu-ness deep down in me.
Maybe I'm over-worried about the final report which is going to pull up my pathetic CGPA.
I don't know.
I just feel nervous.

I have a few companies in mind, but I'm not sure whether those companies are really good for internships?
Many want to go to the same company which I think for once I don't feel like it.
Am in the dilemma.
I so so want to go for internship in radio station but One FM is way too a piece of hot cake.
Shall I try my luck?
Shall I give up on my initial dream?
Or production house is where I belong to?
How about TV station?

Questions, questions and more questions...
Research, research and more research...
Thinking, thinking and more thinking...
Confidence is what I need.

Karma.

When it is not happening to you right now, it doesn't mean that it will never happen to you.
Be Kind.

This is what I learn from the past 1 year and I finally figure it out.

Know nothing.

Period + Diarrhea = Lembik me. -^-

Tomorrow is the presentation, and I'm still not done with anything.
How the hell the tutor expect us to present and come out with the assignment when she only attend the class for only once?
Damn brainless and making our life miserable.
I'm feeling extremely nervous because I don't know what will the Q & A session like.
There's nothing much info in the books I borrowed from the library.
Still couldn't get any online journal.

The tummy is aching, the head is pounding.
Just let me fall sick kaukau so I won't have to go uni.
=________=

Listening to I'm yours.

明明就很在意，却装得一脸不在乎。
明明就很难过，却强忍不让眼泪流。

彻彻底底的崩溃。。。

Of all days, I broke down at this very day.
I was being very unreasonable in a way that I annoyed myself too.
I think I've misplaced the key of communication.
I kicked the door constantly trying to open and I failed.
I'm standing outside the door helplessly.
Trying hard to recall.

*knock knock knock*
Anybody there?
Can you please open the door and let me in?

What is Vday?

Its just another busy day.
Busy not as in dating but doing research for stupid CRM.
RAWR!

Anyway Vday never is my favourite day. Lol.
What more when my bf is not those romantic guy who give flowers and bring gf go for candlelight dinner.
Not like I like flowers cause seriously I think it's a waste of money.
I rather he spend me on other stuff then.
But then damn sad right satu kuntum pun tak dapat. ><
Wuwu.

Okay I was just joking, I'm not that interested in flowers, really wan.
I'm more interested in chocolates, but I have quite a lot at home and now that I'm having ulcers so I guess the bf can really save a lot.
He only spent on Benjamin Button today.
Ok wert.

Vday really make people goes siao siao.

Ulcers

There were few who came to ask if I'm feeling okay cause I don't look fine.
So I told them, I'm not emo but I'm not okay.
Cause I have huge ulcers which trying to show its head out soon on my lower lip.

I couldn't remember having such huge and deep wound ulcer for the past 20 years plus.
I have 3 ulcers but 2 of them decided to joined together and formed a long and huge one.
What make the pain worse is, everytime I move my mouth, I'll feel like damn super pain and give up on talking/laughing.
So sad okay I can't even close my mouth/eat/talk/laugh properly.
That's why I look emo I guess.
And I drool like don't know what when I sleep on my right.
Hahaha.

What make the ulcers worse was we have production in Kayu.
So of course have to order all those mamak food.
Being me, the chili fan, I ordered curry all and at the end complain about my ulcers lol.
Sigh.
Cari pasal betul I know.
Many suggested watermelon powder and salt.
I think I'll take the powder.
Salt no way!
The wound is too deep and I'll cry if I were to rub salt on it.
T______________T

Pain pain pain pain pain.

Live Life To The Fullest.

It was what that person told me.

I'm never the one who good in soothing people.
And all I know was just crying and make that person feel worse.

First time I see worries in that person.
I'm worried but can do nothing to help.
Am just hoping to see that person soon.
And hearing good news from her.

************
My memory is getting bad.
I tend to forget stuff easily every now and then.
I remember reading an article saying radioactive released from PC or laptop will affect memory.
The longer hour one sitting in front of PC, the more radioactive the body take in.
I find it so true now as I basically sit in front of the laptop whenever I'm at home.

Am cutting down the time from today onwards.

This can't be happening!
Oh God, please tell me its just a nightmare that I'm having.
Please....
Sob Sob.

My Confession.

For those who know me pretty well, I think you people should now know the fact that I'm quite a stingy person and calculative person when it comes to certain stuff like food (yea, I know I'm very skinny but I don't know why I'm never that type that spend too much money on food. I usually just wait for people to belanja me lol.), clothes, groceries and some other stuff which I cannot remember now.

There's something that I wanted to confess since long ago, but I always ended up keep it with myself.
Well now I really think I couldn't stand it anymore.
Maybe I've keep it with myself too long and I think this is the time for me to tell everyone how I feel.

Honestly, I'm quite bother by the fact that I'm owning a car.
"Eh, Alice got car let's ask her to fetch us."
I'm sick of being a driver, what more a driver who drive her own car, and pump petrol, pay parking and tol all with her own money.
Okay, so being a driver a fact that I cannot avoid since I bloody own a car.
But, sometimes I really wish you people will at least offer me part of the petrol, parking or tol money when we are traveling or going around.

We all are students, not financially independent of course.
Owning a car doesn't mean that I'm any richer.
I didn't take PTPTN loan and am always facing financial problems myself.
It's really depressing when I'm here struggling and I obviously can't bring myself to announce to everyone 'Hey people, I'm seriously facing financial problems and if you really sit my car, you must pay me some money okay? If not, get out off my car!'
I'm not as calculative until that level la...
Near near or on the way still okay, but far far and out of the way, please...... *big wet eyes*

I think some of you may think that this Alice so calculative and stingy let's not friend her. ><
I honestly hope you people can be fair to me cause if I have a choice, I will not drive too.
Then, nobody will point at me when they need transport.
Maybe it was due to the car expenses sharing culture that I practice during Form 6 that I'm not used to paying all when I'm the driver.
I really hope you people will be understanding enough to understand my feeling now.
What will you do if you're in my shoes?

That's all for all my craps.
Thanks for reading!

-Signing off-

Drama.

After all the shouting and fixing and overlapping and misunderstanding, the short film group was finally set.
That was the outcome after one hour of discussion yesterday.
If only you consider that as a discussion.
I thought I was in a market.
=_________=

Today.
The tutor decided to surprise us or rather UTAR decided to surprise us.
The initial 8 groups is now shrink to 6 groups.
Which means from 14 people that we formed yesterday change to 18 or 19 people per group.
O.o

UTAR management seriously is good for nothing.
How can we lack of equipments when we are paying the bloody fees every single semester?
Can't UTAR fix the spoil one or get new equipment?
How can we learn when we are shooting a 15-30 minutes short film with so many people doing nothing?
We are some big production like Red Cliff for goodness sake.
Seriously damn potong.
Drama started even before we start shooting.
That just prove that UTAR=No choice.
Sigh.

Tomorrow's course meeting is going to be like World War 3.
Am feeling so dreaded to attend.
Another shouting and fixing and overlapping and misunderstanding moment. *Okay, scrab the misunderstanding*

Another drama happened today was when BC1 and BC2 combined class.
Sorry to say that, some LOA (lack of attention) person from BC2 decided to berdrama his class business in front of BC1.
The class started yesterday, can't you just berdrama in your class than involving other class for you class business?
I seriously don't get it man.
Don't this person feel malufying making big fuss out of his own resignation?
Such an irresponsible act.
Pfft!

___________________________

The flower shop just rejected us.
Wuwu.
T_________________T
Anyone know any flower shop owner?
Please recommend to me.
Pwetty Please~~~~
*Biggest wet eyes in the whole entire world*

Randomness.

1. I finally gamble for the first time in my life and won RM20 hohoho.

2. I dreamt about the dai lou trying to convince me that he had become short and fat, then he switch his identity with a guy called Jun Kei which I don't know who is that. Anyway, he tak jadi to tipu me also. Lol.

3. I got almost RM450 for ang pao money so far. Whee~~

4. There are a lot of things in my shopping list, but I'm trying to control my desire to get those stuff cause Ah Ma said must save up money.

5. I hope all my paycheques come as soon as possible.

6. I'm getting emotional these days.

7. I have loads of research to do but I'm feeling extremely lazy to get my butt started.

8. I stucked in my script writing. T___T

9. I super crazy fall in love wih Fany Hwan Hee. His voice is wonderful huhu.

10. I laughed like mad woman listening to the stories of bf and his high school friends.